Judgmental Moms February 18, 2009

So often the decisions we make as moms come down to personal preferences for what makes us and our children happiest and most comfortable. It’s the little decisions we make every day that fill up most of our thoughts, yet those are the decisions that aren’t really all that important. The funny thing is, these are the decisions that get most ridiculed by others.

You remember my post on Scheduling vs. Demand Feeding. This is one of those decisions that is made mostly based on what type of person we are and what is easier for us as moms, but, in the grand scheme of things, doesn’t really affect how our kids turn out. It’s not some serious moral issue; it’s just a personal preference. The same goes for TV watching, eating at McDonald’s, how we deal with behavior difficulties, when/how our kids take naps, whether we buy our kids a toy when they’re good at the store, or whether or not they eat candy every now and then. In the normal, every day world of mommy-hood, these little things don’t make one iota of difference. Other moms, however, are likely to make you feel like a horrible excuse for a parent if your decision is different than theirs.

I was talking to a mommy friend of mine this morning who had made a particular decision related to her toddler. Another mommy friend of ours made a snotty remark about her decision, and this got me thinking – why is all this such a big deal? Is it that we’re all so insecure about the decisions we’re making that we feel the need to second-guess the decisions of our friends? Or do we really think we know it all?

I try unbelievably hard not to criticize the parenting decisions of my friends. If, of course, they’re doing something absurd, like giving their kid crack, of course I would have to intervene – but using disposables instead of cloth? Whatever. Letting their 2-year-old stay up late to watch Disney Princess movies? Okie dokie. Not adhering to my “schedule Nazi” standards? More power to you!

Being a mom is hard enough as it is, so the next time someone decides to do something differently than you would do it, keep your mouth shut. The mom in question will surely appreciate your silence and then you gals can talk about something more important – like how in the world to stop a temper tantrum!

Mommy Confession: Why I Can’t Go To Bed Early January 16, 2009

Except for when I was in high school and early college, I have always been an “early to bed, early to rise” kind of gal. I loved mornings. I loved going to bed early, getting up before everyone else, and having some time to get ready for the day. Then I had my second baby.

Now, you can’t get me to bed before midnight under any circumstances (ok, I actually fell asleep before midnight on New Years Eve this year. Blame the wine).

Why my sudden change in internal clock?

After a long, hard day of taking care of two kids under two, I need a few hours at the end of the day when I can do whatever I want (usually running or taking a bubble bath) without two tiny people crying, tugging at me, spitting up, throwing things, or, in the case of my almost-two-year-old, purposely hurting himself for attention.

Don’t get me wrong, I adore my boys. I stare at them while they’re sleeping and am (usually) exciting to get them out of bed in the mornings. But I think every mom has felt her stomach drop when she hears her child waking up way too early from nap time. Today, for example, I had a mere 15 minutes with both boys down for their naps. As soon as I got my 4-month-old to bed, my toddler was waking up.

So here it is, 9:30pm…I’m sick, tired, and really in need of some rest. I am, however, fresh out of the tub, sitting in front of the computer, trying to decide what I want to do with these precious moments to myself. Because I know in a mere 9.5 hours I will once again become the sole provider for 50 pounds worth of very demanding little people.

So, sleep? Nah. You can probably catch me on Facebook instead…

Peanut Butter Treasure Cookies March 21, 2008

I decided to try out this recipe for Easter, and they’re delicious!!!

1 cup peanut butter (I like crunchy, but you can use creamy)

1 cup sugar

1 egg

plain M n M’s

Miniature peanut butter cups (for Easter, I used Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs)

Preheat oven to 350. Mix peanut butter, egg, sugar, and M n M’s. Drop by rounded spoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheet. Bake for 8-10 minutes. While cookies are still hot, gently press peanut butter cups onto tops of cookies. Allow to cool until peanut butter cups are set, about 3 hours (the peanut butter cups melt into the cookies! YUM!).

Washing Stuffed Animals March 17, 2008

I rediscovered a big basket of my old stuffed animals downstairs today and thought I might as well get them cleaned up and give them to my son to play with. All they were doing downstairs was collecting dust, pet hair, and who knows what else, so why not get some use out of them? My question was: how in the world do I clean these things?

All the tags said “surface wash only,” which sounds pretty easy, except when you try to determine exactly how to surface wash and consider how many stinky stuffed animals needed to be cleaned. So, I did what any modern mom would do…a google search for “How to surface wash stuffed animals” and browsed through what popped up.

Nearly everything I read from “regular people” said to toss ‘em in the washing machine, no matter what the tags read. So I did.

And it worked!

I tied those puppies, kitties, and monkeys up in pillowcases, tossed them in the washer and then the dryer and they all came out looking – and smelling – fabulous!

From what I read, critters with longer fur tend to not do so well in the wash, so I may, in the future, actually surface wash the bushier animals. But as for our giant collection of short-haired companions…they’re going in the washer!

Details: I washed them on the delicate cycle with All Free and Clear and then dried them on medium heat. It worked perfectly!

Funny Things I Never Expected About The Second Year February 28, 2008

I had big plans for having the “perfect” child and, for at least the first year, I did really well in following those goals. Only healthy food, no TV, alphabet drills…my son had the perfect beginning.

He’s now 13 months old, however, and, especially now that I’m expecting another baby, oh how times have changed! Here’s a few interesting things that I never expected of myself:

1. Happy Meals are glorious. James had his first last week – Chicken McNuggets and Apple Dippers! He loved them. And so did I.

2. I’m learning Spanish from Dora the Explorer. This has, to an extent, replaced “alphabet drills.”

3. I have to hide in the pantry to eat Girl Scout cookies. I’ve created a tiny, little Cookie Monster who will beg mercilessly until I give him a cookie. So I hide. I see no shame in that.

4. Particularly when he’s sick, I am not above appeasing my child with cookies and TV. Cookies and TV make me feel better when I’m sick, and it seems to work the same for a 1-year-old.

5. And on a sentimental note, I never thought that the tiny creature who wanted to be held all the time just a few short months ago would suddenly be entirely too independent for snuggle time with mommy. I have to fight the urge to sneak into his room at night to quietly pick him up and cuddle him. At least I’ll get myself a new little cuddle monster in 6 1/2 more months…

All this being said, I haven’t completely abandoned all my “good mommy” goals. James still eats relatively healthy – veggies, starch, and protein at every meal; fruits or whole grains for most snacks. We still read together every day. I have, however, relaxed. A lot. And I never expected that I would!

To Be An Encourager January 2, 2008

So often the most important lessons we learn come from having to face the opposite of what we want to be. Being faced with a constant barrage of “You’ll never be able to do that!” and only the occasional “I’m sure you’ll do great!” has taught me how very important it is to be an encourager.

You know the type…you call so-and-so to tell them some fantastic bit of news and they have only bad things to say. “Oh, that’s so hard. I’m not sure if you’ll be able to do it” or “I can’t believe you’re happy about that! I knew someone who did the same thing and failed miserably!” You dread calling these people with your good news because you know that they’re going to rain on your proverbial parade.

Then there are those that are a constant ray of sunshine. You could call these people and tell them that you’ve joined the Communist party and plan to blow up the universe and they’ll say “That’s fantastic! I’m sure you’ll be the best Communist bomber this world has ever seen!” I love those people. And I want to be one (the encourager – not the Communist bomber… )

It’s not easy to always see the bright side, to instantly have faith that those you love are going to succeed, but I think it’s a quality to be admired. I want to be the type of person that my family loves to come home to and share a bit of good news, knowing that I’ll have only positive things to say. I don’t want to be sunshiny in a false sort of way, but I do want my family and friends to know that I have faith in them.

I’m working on being Mrs. Sunshiny Support to my husband, which is much harder than one might expect. He comes home and tells me that he’s thinking about spending $100 to join some sort of gun club and I think, “You want to spend how much on what?!?” I say, however, “That sounds like fun, dear! Tell me about it.” The more we talk the more I discover that he knows that $100 is a lot to spend on joining a gun club, but that he has saved money by driving a car with better gas mileage and using his phone as an MP3 player rather than buying an IPOD…I realize that by expecting the best I usually get it! Plus, I get to talk to my husband more because I’m no longer the wet-blanket that poo-poos all his exciting news. What a treat!

Then I think of my son. I want to be the kind of mom that he looks forward to talking to. I want him to run home to tell me all of his exciting news, knowing that I will offer him the utmost support. I don’t ever want him to dread telling me some bit of exciting news for fear that I’ll only have the worst to say.

So, I’m thankful (sort of) for the wet blankets in my life. I appreciate those people who have taught me how to be the type of person that I want to be, simply by being an example of what I don’t want to be.

Healthy Toys Website December 6, 2007

Go to www.healthytoys.org for information on independent testing of toys.

You can search by brand or type of toy to see if your child’s toy has elevated levels of lead, chlorine, arsenic, and other chemicals.

My New Vacuum November 26, 2007

I’ve had the same old vacuum since I got married 5 1/2 years ago and, after looking at online reviews for my sister who was planning on buying a new vacuum over the weekend, I decided it was time for me to buy a new one!

My old vacuum was fine for a married couple living in a tiny apartment, but now that we have a cat, a dog, a baby, and a good sized house, I need a few more bells and whistles. After some online searching, I decided to buy the Eureka Capture Bagless Upright.

I found it on sale at Wal Mart, brought it home, put it together, and went to town! I vacuum every day but Sunday, so I, of course, had vacuumed with my old cleaner this morning. I was disgusted at what the Capture picked up off my carpet! Ok, and a little excited that my new vacuum is so much more powerful. It also has a handy attachment for stairs and furniture with a separate rotating brush – a must-have if you have pets!

Here’s my new vacuum…

More Toys Not Made in China November 17, 2007

In shopping for Christmas presents for my son and his “friends” (he’s 10 months old, he doesn’t really have friends!), I’ve discovered a few more companies that are either exclusively made somewhere other than China, or have some items manufactured elsewhere:

• Mega Blocks – exclusively made in Canada. Check the label! Although I have yet to find any of their products manufactured anywhere other than Canada, you can’t be too careful!
• Playmobil – made in Germany. Again, check the label. I’ve found some products that are made in countries of which I have never even heard, but so far, no China.
• Fisher Price has a few items that are made in Mexico. So far I’ve found their Stacker Rings, Shape Sorter Blocks and Bucket, Sit and Stand Giraffe, Counting Corn Popper, and Shape Sorter Wagon – all made in Mexico! I never thought I’d be so excited to find stuff made in Mexico!
• Step 2 – Check their website. We ordered their big Fire Engine for Two, which is made in the USA.

Good luck with your Christmas shopping!!

Jonesborough Library Pulls Homeschool Meeting at Mayor Jaynes’ Request November 6, 2007

I posted this over on my political blog, but I thought it was fitting to post it here as well.

Local Author/Homeschool mom, Sonya Haskins, had scheduled a homeschool informational meeting for this Thursday at the Jonesborough Public Library. After a phone call to the library from County Mayor, George Jaynes, however, Mrs. Haskins was informed that her meeting had been removed from the library schedule.

According to Mayor Jaynes, because the public library is a public-owned facility, they have an obligation to support other public entities, such as the public school system. In Jaynes’ opinion, holding a homeschool informational meeting would be detrimental to the public school system.

Jaynes is apparently forgetting the fact that Haskins and other homeschool parents are taxpayers, too.

Aside from censoring Haskins, not because of profanity or imminent threat to the public but because he doesn’t like what she has to say, Jaynes seems to be more concerned with the fact that homeschoolers “cost” the county money.

Jaynes told Newschannel 11 that the county loses $7000 for every student that is homeschooled. Well la-ti-da. What about the money homeschooling parents lose when they pay for both public education through ridiculously high taxation in addition to the money they spend to give their children a superior education at home?

Jaynes is now saying that the whole thing was a “miscommunication.” He claims that he never told library employees to cancel the meeting, but suggested that they think twice before placing such events on the schedule in the future. Right. Sounds like damage control to me.

I’m just glad that Haskins is one tough homeschool momma and wouldn’t take Jaynes’ censorship lying down. At the advice of County Attorney Rambo, the meeting is back on.

In case you’re interested in attending the homechool informational session at the Jonesborough Library, it is this Thursday at 2pm.