So often the decisions we make as moms come down to personal preferences for what makes us and our children happiest and most comfortable. It’s the little decisions we make every day that fill up most of our thoughts, yet those are the decisions that aren’t really all that important. The funny thing is, these are the decisions that get most ridiculed by others.
You remember my post on Scheduling vs. Demand Feeding. This is one of those decisions that is made mostly based on what type of person we are and what is easier for us as moms, but, in the grand scheme of things, doesn’t really affect how our kids turn out. It’s not some serious moral issue; it’s just a personal preference. The same goes for TV watching, eating at McDonald’s, how we deal with behavior difficulties, when/how our kids take naps, whether we buy our kids a toy when they’re good at the store, or whether or not they eat candy every now and then. In the normal, every day world of mommy-hood, these little things don’t make one iota of difference. Other moms, however, are likely to make you feel like a horrible excuse for a parent if your decision is different than theirs.
I was talking to a mommy friend of mine this morning who had made a particular decision related to her toddler. Another mommy friend of ours made a snotty remark about her decision, and this got me thinking – why is all this such a big deal? Is it that we’re all so insecure about the decisions we’re making that we feel the need to second-guess the decisions of our friends? Or do we really think we know it all?
I try unbelievably hard not to criticize the parenting decisions of my friends. If, of course, they’re doing something absurd, like giving their kid crack, of course I would have to intervene – but using disposables instead of cloth? Whatever. Letting their 2-year-old stay up late to watch Disney Princess movies? Okie dokie. Not adhering to my “schedule Nazi” standards? More power to you!
Being a mom is hard enough as it is, so the next time someone decides to do something differently than you would do it, keep your mouth shut. The mom in question will surely appreciate your silence and then you gals can talk about something more important – like how in the world to stop a temper tantrum!
